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Ford Pinto. From the dark days of Detroit playing catch up to its lean, mean foreign competitors, Detroit's old school mentality of low-tech small cars built with big car engineering (small interiors, big exteriors, wasted space, inefficient packaging) just didn't impress savvy consumers. Sure, they sold initially in huge numbers, but when haphazard engineering resulted in a raft of exploding fuel tanks and horrendous reliability, class-action lawsuits sealed the Pinto's fate for good. Not a proud chapter in the history of the American automobile.
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Chevrolet Cavalier. Ahh, the GM J-Body. Another example of poor space efficiency, the Chevy Cavalier/Pontiac Sunbird/Buick Skyhawk/Olsmobile Firenza/Cadillac Cimarron (GASP I'm out of breath) featured uncomfortably high dashboards, asthmatic four cylinder pushrod engines, sloppy and unresponsive three-speed automatics, and oversprung/underdamped suspensions. The ultimate insult to the American consumer came in
Cadillac form, points out U.S. News & World Report: "GM even added some lipstick and high heels and tried to peddle the upgrade as the
Cadillac Cimarron." While this vehicle sold in the millions, brand-loyal consumers learned their lesson. It's no wonder they're loathe to buy American small cars now. And yet GM persists, bringing us the
Pontiac G3 to name but one mediocre example.
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Chevrolet Astro. If you didn't love the
Chevrolet Lumina APV/Pontiac TransSport/Oldsmobile Silhouette
minivans with their Karl Malden proboscises, you could always opt for the sturdy old Chevy Astro/GMC Safari twins. With their gravelly 4.3-liter pushrod sixes huffing way beneath the huge center-mounted hump between passenger and driver, bus-style driving position, and very mediocre reliability, these
vans kept an ancient design alive that other automakers had abandoned decades before. The
Ford Aerostar was a marginally better vehicle, but
Chrysler stole the show with its lightweight, car-based, forward-thinking
minivans that saved it from obscurity. Says U.S. News: "The Astro drove like a bread truck, and consumers noticed. It also earned the worst safety ratings in its class."
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Ford Taurus. Much like the minivan was for
Chrysler, the
Taurus and
Sable proved that Detroit wasn't comatose. The Taurus became a bestseller, points out U.S. News, and rightfully so. A forward-thinking styling ethos, fresh and ergonomic interior, good space efficiency, and sprightly driving dynamics gave Americans a vehicle they could be proud to own. So what did
Ford do? "For the next 20 years,
Ford let quality declien and neglected the family sedan, while pouring love and money into
trucks and
SUVs," claims U.S. News. The 500 sedan followed, and "went on record as one of the most short-lived models ever." A revival of the Taurus nameplate to a "bastardized 500" was too little, too late: "by then, the damage was done."
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Ford Explorer. "The
Explorer helped create an addiction that lasted 15 years," criticizes U.S. News' Rick Newman. He goes on to quote David Magee, author of How
Toyota Became No. 1: "executives could not see beyond the
green piling up at their feet." Soon GM and and
Chrysler were in on the SUV game, pumping out Trailblazers and Durangos en masse. In this interesting, myopic game, suddenly the Big Three were competing against each other and ignoring larger trends in the market. Which brings us right to the current crisis.
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Jaguar X-Type. If ever there was a mediocre bastardization of a luxury marque, it was this cramped
Ford Mondeo sedan, tarted up with the
Jaguar "J-gate" shifter, wood trim, and all-wheel drive. It was like Jag's very own Cimarron. "Jag purists were horrified," claims U.S. News, and buyers of
BMWs,
Lexuses, and
Acuras were not swayed. NVH, interior materials, and driving dynamics did not bespeak luxury.
Ford missed the mark with its attempts to make
Jaguars, and recently sold the once-prestigious marque to Tata of India.
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Hummer H2. The
Hummer division had quite the quick rise and fall, existing for less than a decade. The big, brash
H2 thumbed its nose at efficiency, at girly men in crossovers, at gas prices, and at anything and anybody who didn't like its rock crawling prowess and angry get-out-of-my-way demeanor. And now, everyone who the
H2 pissed off is chuckling, as Americans who thought they needed the bruiser are quickly coming to their senses and realizing they like fuel efficiency, they don't need rock crawling capability for shopping mall parking structures, would rather not pay a grand for new tires, and are actually a bit embarrassed to be seen driving a huge plasticky dinosaur with chassis bits from GM heavy duty
trucks and leftover fuel caps from the ill-fated
Pontiac Aztek. All in all, probably the last time GM will send a linebacker to do the job of a quarterback.
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Toyota Prius. Rick Newman draws a painful comparison: "While GM was spending $1 billion to build up the
Hummer franchise,
Toyota was spending $1 billion to develop a high-mileage
hybrid - even though gas prices were still low." Maybe the
Prius was just a guess, a gamble...but regardless, it was an incredibly prescient one. What did GM say when the Prius debuted in 2000? "Ahh, the Prius, it's just for those GreenPeace treehuggers." Today,
Toyota can hardly keep up with demand for the Prius. As for GM? Well, uh, it brought us the two-mode
Escalade Hybrid and
GMC Sierra Hybrid. Combined mileage just north of 20 mpg hardly astounds, though it's better than city mileage in the low teens. But make no mistake - not even
hybrid powertrains can stop the sales nosedive of full-size
pickups and
SUVs.
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Chrysler Sebring. U.S. News muses: "Did
Chrysler engineers set out to build the world's most boring car?" Well, According to Consumer Reports, they did manage to produce a vehicle with the lowest predicted reliability score - 283 percent lower than average - the
Chrysler Sebring Convertible. Ouch. Not only does the
Sebring lack character, driving verve, and interesting styling, but its also destined to be a reliability nightmare. "The only way to sell marginal cars," says U.S. News, "is with steep discounts, which money-losing automakers can no longer afford." They conclude: "this model seems destined for extinction."
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Jeep Compass. It seems even
Jeep has gotten in on the badge-engineering game, having produced the weak-kneed
Compass/
Patriot/
Dodge Caliber triplets. All three end up as less than the sum of their parts. A decent 2.4-liter four, co-developed with
Hyundai, is castrated by an oddball CVT transmission. The once-proud
Jeep nameplate is hopelessly watered down by the front-drive econocar underpinnings, hardly the stuff of Jeep's trail-rated reputation. Interior materials seem destined for mail-delivery duty, with harsh plastics and cheap seams in abundance. U.S. News claims that "
Chrysler has oversaturated its strongest brand lineup in a desperate attempt to boost sales." They end with a "message to Detroit: consumers aren't that stupid."